You might think that tolerating disrespect is the price of keeping the peace. You might believe that if you just love them harder, they'll finally change. You might think the chaos in your relationship is normal—because it's all you've known. You've convinced yourself that their behavior is your fault, or that you're too sensitive.
None of those things are true.
I get it.
I understand what it's like to lose yourself in a relationship that takes more than it gives. Toxic dynamics—whether with a partner, family member, or in the workplace—have a way of distorting reality. They make you question your own perceptions, shrink your voice, and convince you that you deserve the treatment you're receiving.I understand the weight of the expectations placed upon us as wives, mothers, and career women. Society often tells us that we must juggle everything effortlessly, sacrificing our well-being in the process. But let me tell you, it's time to challenge those beliefs.
THE TRUTH
The truth is, you are not responsible for someone else's harmful behavior. Love should not require you to abandon yourself. Recognizing manipulation, gaslighting, or emotional abuse is not being dramatic—it's clarity. Walking away or setting firm boundaries is not giving up; it's choosing yourself. The truth is you are not obligated to do it all alone. Your worth is not measured by how much you can take on. Saying no is not selfish—it's an act of self-preservation and self-respect. Setting boundaries in your career is not a sign of weakness but a demonstration of your value and self-awareness.
MORE TRUTH
The truth is, the confusion you feel is often by design. Toxic people thrive when you doubt yourself. But that gut feeling telling you something is wrong? It's worth listening to. You deserve relationships that feel safe, not like a constant test you're failing. Now close your eyes and imagine yourself on the other side of therapy—where you trust your own voice again.
You are on your way! I am here to help!
I'm Dr. Nichelle Chandler, a licensed professional counselor in Dallas, Texas. I specialize in helping clients—especially Black women, women of all backgrounds, and women with lupus—heal from toxic relationships, manage anxiety and depression, and rebuild a sense of self. Explore my website to learn how we can work together.
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